Addiction

The definition to addiction is: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
The word Enslaved stuck out to me in this definition more than anything! Because you become enslaved to the addiction.
You can be addicted to so many different things besides alcohol and drugs: shopping, gambling, sex, food, exercise, etc. Anything that is controlling your life to the point it is all you think of and you can not seem to quit, to me, is addiction!
Just because you are addicted to whatever you are addicted to does not at all make you a bad person and you should Never feel that way! It just means you are going through a trial that you can not seem to grasp being able to stop.
There is ALWAYS HOPE! You are NOT alone! I know for years when I was on drugs I always hid so that no one would see that I was high! I would only hang out with those that could get me high and totally ignored the friends and family that were good influences. I was searching for the next high more than I was actually high. I had NO hope, No goals or plans for the future. Nothing mattered to me but getting high.
I was running constantly from the depression I felt when I was sober. If I could not find any drugs then I would drink until i passed out. I had no drive at all. I remember one time I looked out my trailer window and my momma lived in front of me and she had my baby Faith and they were playing outside and I felt so disconnected from reality but this hurt and so I took some pills and passed out for rest of day.
The pain I was running from and did not want to feel it ever! I felt so Alone, so hopeless.
So see I have been there I know how truly dark it can be! How one day turns into weeks and then months and you are so wrapped up in the game you dont know how to make it stop.
There is a way my precious friend, the only way to true freedom and that is Jesus! Dont block me out yet because I said that. I grew up in church and knew my childhood Jesus and I also knew all the rules that went along with that. All you cant do out numbered what you could do. I get it! I know this!
However, I also know that that is not the same Jesus I know now as an adult! The Jesus who saved me and rescued me from the pits of sin because of HIS love for me! I can say that I did not return that love at first because I couldn't even love myself or this "Jesus" who is full of rules. I was in such a rebellion state I rebelled against HIS love for so long! Until finally it sunk in that I was Rebelling against the LOVE and ACCEPTANCE and PEACE I have been searching for for years!
And then I finally gave in and wanted to know this Jesus whom is real and different than the one I knew as a child. And so I began praying and studying and now I can not imagine my life without Him!!