Redeemed

I do not like to see and hear people who have never been addicted passing judgment on others. I have had said to me "just stop" or "you only love yourself because if you cared anything about others you would quit using"...God knows how many times I  tried to quit using drugs when I was on them and God knows how many times when I was sober I would just lock myself in a room and cry because I hated who I was and I hated the drugs even more!! I was not purposely trying to hurt anyone. My heart was pure but the drugs had taken complete control of who I was. The drugs had become so much stronger than my will. I attempted suicide numerous times because my life was not mine anymore and the only way out I knew to stop this evil addiction was death.
So when I look at someone whom I know is addicted my heart breaks for them because I know the intense battle between good and evil that is going on with them!
I did not go to a rehab to become clean ten years ago. I tried but was denied due to money. I became clean by prayer and by divine intervention. I did not become clean instantaneously but took years to completely have my mind back and for the evil addiction to be released from me. I was released spiritually from it when God stepped in, but I was holding on so tightly to the addiction and the  life I knew because it had become so tightly wrapped into my very core that to let it go scared me. I did not know who I was without the drugs and all that went with it. My very identity was the drugs and my actions. So to give it up would mean giving up who I was and that scared me.
It was not until I was able to embrace and receive the Love and forgiveness from Jesus that  I was able to begin healing and  then I was able slowly to let go of the life I had known, let go of the false identity placed on me.
One by one the different false identities became to fade away until the only identity that remained was Daughter of the King.. and one by one the lies I believed from  the enemy for so long about who I was..was replaced with the Truth of who Jesus says I am and that is Redeemed!