Untrusting Heart and Paralyzing Fear No More

I remember being on drugs and alcohol and being so blasted that I just passed out. As I was passed out things were done to me by individuals that I trusted and thought cared for me. This was over 10 years ago, but happened so many times that it broke something deep within me that made me not trust anyone and be so full of fear. This fear and trust issue paralyzed me for so many years from being all that God has created me to be. It was not until I took that first step of faith that the fear started to not be so strong. And when nothing bad happened to me the fear became less. Trust started to build when I felt the Love of Christ totally saturate my being! It was the sweetest most purest love I had ever felt and I heard God say to my spirit "I am so sorry all those horrific things happened to you". This made me fall to the floor and just weep for such a long time. But when I was done weeping it was like that shame and that guilt that fueled my untrusting heart, was gone. I am still a work in progress and will be until the day I go to Heaven! But being able to Trust and not always hiding away in fear is so very liberating and has allowed me to step out in Faith numerous more times and numerous times to come! I know bad things will happen but I know that I have a Father who loves me and hides me in His shadow and this gives me the courage to Be all that My Abba has created me to be! His LOVE is my Shield and my comfort and the reason that I am still here today!