Whats wrong with our country and the morals and values being no more and sex/drugs is drowning out the word of God and stealing so many young souls why?? You can turn on the TV and pretty much watch a pornography show on primetime TV. The music and music videos is not any better! Words are so powerful! Words spoken into children through TV, Media, Music really does impact their spirit rather anyone wants to believe it or not!
The channel ABC family I use to watch shows like 7th Heaven on; is now full of shows that promote teen sex, homosexuality, and abortion! This is the channel that is being put together for teens and young adults.
I mean seriously!!
And we wonder why there are so many teen pregnancy and so many on drugs? I know that they have a choice in the matter and there are more than TV and music at play here, but you look at any teen and they are watching TV, Listening to music, or on phone looking at internet.
What your mind sees and hears gets hidden in your heart and is there and influences you way more than you think!
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Love is the Key to Freedom!
Although the road you are on may seem dark right now. My precious friend the Light of Hope is there just waiting on you to let go and give in! Jesus Loves you more than you can ever comprehend! He knows already what you have hidden in your heart and that does not make him love you any less! He has already won the battle you are fighting you just have to claim the victory which is yours to claim!
I know you may not understand all this "Jesus" stuff! But the only thing you need to understand right now in this moment is that Jesus is LOVE and his LOVE brings with it the peace and hope that you have been longing for and seeking elsewhere! All the other stuff you do not understand will come in time, but for now just focus on LOVE!!
I know you may not understand all this "Jesus" stuff! But the only thing you need to understand right now in this moment is that Jesus is LOVE and his LOVE brings with it the peace and hope that you have been longing for and seeking elsewhere! All the other stuff you do not understand will come in time, but for now just focus on LOVE!!
Monday, June 23, 2014
I am not GOD!!
Can you imagine living every day with no stress and no worries? To just be so full of peace and joy that it radiates from you so lovingly?
Honestly I can not imagine this either! I know it is possible, but being a single mother of a very strong willed 2 year old and a very lively 13 year old and working full time: I very seldom feel full of joy and bliss but rather feel exhausted and run down.
I do have those moments when I feel the love flush over me and that activates the joy but this does not last all day every day.
And I know I am not alone! We live in such a fast paced time and every minuet of every day is full of what we have to do to take care of our families and usually that means no time to take care of ourselves!
I was having a pitty party not to long ago. No one was there but me and Jesus. Not sure Jesus wanted to be there:) I think he finally had enough because I heard him say "You have no rest and you are so stressed because you are not allowing me to be God. You are doing my job. You are doing everything. I am here and have been just waiting for you to allow me to step in and be God and take on your burdens and help you carry this load that is weighing you down. But you have to allow me to do so."
That made me sit down! I never thought of that! Being a single mother I was so use to doing everything and I didn't mind it because I love my children and wanted to provide and take care of them. I didn't stop to realize that I was even trying to be God in all this too. I mean I wasn't thinking "Hey I am God" nothing like that. But I wasn't allowing Him to help me and that is why I was so burdened down and so tired!
Honestly I will tell you that night I prayed and asked forgiveness and then happily gave him the load and asked Him to help me to trust in Him to take care of me and my children..I felt like a boulder was lifted from my shoulders! I slept all through the night for the first time in so long. My mind was not racing with things I couldn't forget that I had to do and I was not making plans for months down the road.
I have joy through out the day, not all day, but I have it through out the day. I am a work in progress. But letting go and letting God be God I have much less stress!
Faith of Wonder Like a Child Once More
I have always been to church since the time my mother conceived me. My grandfather was a pastor and so going to church was as natural as breathing to me growing up. Every Sunday, Sunday night, Wen, every time doors were open we were there.
My grandparents and I use to sing specials up in front of the congregation and sometimes all by myself. No fear at all I loved just praising Jesus with no fear, nothing but adoration and love to him.
Now many moons later I still LOVE to Praise Jesus, its the one time in my life I feel I am closest to him. However, usually all by myself! Yes I sing during Praise and Worship but not like I do when It is just me and Jesus at home.
Going from no fear as a child to so much fear now of singing in front of people is really more of no confidence in my ability to sing. See as children we are full of wonder and we firmly believe that we can be anything we want to be. We do not have fear of failure or stress of life! We just do what we know we like to do and praise and pray how we want to in front of whoever. We know we love Jesus and that's all that matters.
So when Jesus says come to him as children, to me this is what it means. Come to him full of that wonder, faith, courage, no pride, no selfishness, no fear, come to him as a child full of confidence and adoration. Because Children believe in the unseen with every ounce of their being. They are not weighed down with doubt. They believe because their faith is so strong, and pure. If they feel like singing Praise To God they will very loudly, they don't care and pray a prayer however long or short without any notice to anyone around them. They are praying and singing for Jesus and that's all they care about. To them in that moment in time it is just them and Jesus and no one else!
That is so my prayer! To have that childlike wonder once again and to have that unblemished, unrestrained, Faith. Oh to be so engulfed by Jesus that all you see, all you feel, is all for Praise to Jesus! That is my desire!
My grandparents and I use to sing specials up in front of the congregation and sometimes all by myself. No fear at all I loved just praising Jesus with no fear, nothing but adoration and love to him.
Now many moons later I still LOVE to Praise Jesus, its the one time in my life I feel I am closest to him. However, usually all by myself! Yes I sing during Praise and Worship but not like I do when It is just me and Jesus at home.
Going from no fear as a child to so much fear now of singing in front of people is really more of no confidence in my ability to sing. See as children we are full of wonder and we firmly believe that we can be anything we want to be. We do not have fear of failure or stress of life! We just do what we know we like to do and praise and pray how we want to in front of whoever. We know we love Jesus and that's all that matters.
So when Jesus says come to him as children, to me this is what it means. Come to him full of that wonder, faith, courage, no pride, no selfishness, no fear, come to him as a child full of confidence and adoration. Because Children believe in the unseen with every ounce of their being. They are not weighed down with doubt. They believe because their faith is so strong, and pure. If they feel like singing Praise To God they will very loudly, they don't care and pray a prayer however long or short without any notice to anyone around them. They are praying and singing for Jesus and that's all they care about. To them in that moment in time it is just them and Jesus and no one else!
That is so my prayer! To have that childlike wonder once again and to have that unblemished, unrestrained, Faith. Oh to be so engulfed by Jesus that all you see, all you feel, is all for Praise to Jesus! That is my desire!
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Sin is death, New life brings love and Grace
Three years ago I became pregnant and I'm not and have never be married. I felt such shame for so long because I was walking with the Lord when I became pregnant. I beat myself up for so long. I didnt dare go to church. I felt so much guilt for once again falling from grace and now pregnant.
There was a night I was journaling and God told me " I am not mad at you. So stop living as if I am."
When I had my baby that night in the hospital I felt so lonely. Baby was in nursery and my family was home and I wondered what it would have been like if I was married and the babys Father was there and wanted to be there and so happy that he had a daughter. But he wasn't there and I wasnt married and I just wept. God showed up and loved me so sweetly until I feel asleep.
What God showed me through this time is that with sin there is death, death of spirit. I learned in my "hiding" That when we do sin it breaks God's heart and I felt that pain and it broke me. See God does not want us to not sin because He is all about rules what you can and can not do. . He does not want us to sin because he knows the pain it will cause us and he knows the seperation we feel sin brings. We are really never seperated from God he is always there. But the guilt and the shame builds up this wall from us to God and leaves us feeling seperated.
These days I am so in love with my children and I could not imagine life without them! They have blessed my life in so many ways!
So what the enemy meant for destruction God once again turned it into a testimony of His never ending all consuming Love and GRACE! I just had to keep the FAITH through the fire!
There was a night I was journaling and God told me " I am not mad at you. So stop living as if I am."
When I had my baby that night in the hospital I felt so lonely. Baby was in nursery and my family was home and I wondered what it would have been like if I was married and the babys Father was there and wanted to be there and so happy that he had a daughter. But he wasn't there and I wasnt married and I just wept. God showed up and loved me so sweetly until I feel asleep.
What God showed me through this time is that with sin there is death, death of spirit. I learned in my "hiding" That when we do sin it breaks God's heart and I felt that pain and it broke me. See God does not want us to not sin because He is all about rules what you can and can not do. . He does not want us to sin because he knows the pain it will cause us and he knows the seperation we feel sin brings. We are really never seperated from God he is always there. But the guilt and the shame builds up this wall from us to God and leaves us feeling seperated.
These days I am so in love with my children and I could not imagine life without them! They have blessed my life in so many ways!
So what the enemy meant for destruction God once again turned it into a testimony of His never ending all consuming Love and GRACE! I just had to keep the FAITH through the fire!
Friday, June 20, 2014
You ARE Loved
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are not a mistake! Every thing about you down to color of eyes and even if you have freckles or not was put together by the one who loved you first.
You are a masterpiece of the rarest kind because you are one of a kind. There is no one else like you! No one has your abilities. .No one has your capabilities and the beauty you have.
No one can stand through the firey trials that you have had to stand through. No one can handle all the heartache that you have had to handle in your life. No one but you!
God knew what you would have to endure so all through your life He was preparing you for that which would come through out your life. Every heartache, every test, every trial, and every storm in your life prepared and equipped you for the next.
So see God never left you through it all! He used it all with combination of His love to strengthen you and impart into you couage.
You are His and He loves you more than you can ever comprehend! No matter where you are in life and no matter what you have or have not done He loves you!
He chose you many years ago and bought you with His own life so that you can live a life full of endless possibilities and freedom! Along the way some of us just got off track, but that's OK cause He still loves you and is there with His fatherly love leading us back to Him!
So do not ever forget in those dark days that you were handmade with love and are a child of living God and He Adores you!
No More Walls, Just Freedom
To find hope when you are in such a depression and all you see are the walls that have always held you in. You dont even remember when these walls went up because they have been up for so long.
There are walls made up of fears and others of doubt. There are walls of regrets and walls of shame. They are so high and you try to climb over them or even knock them down but no use they are to high and you are not strong enough. You feel like a prisoner in your own prison. You see others so happy and living out their life while you are stuck behind these walls forevermore you think.
But you don't have to be! I know the best Carpenter around who can demolish those walls by love. Love is the strongest weapon and the mightiest tool. With one word those walls will fall to the ground.
All you have to do is have faith and believe and the Carpenter of your heart will free you from your prison and set you free. But you have to allow Him to. All you have to do is ask and He will do the demolition himself and all the walls will be gone and you will be a prisoner no more.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
An Outcast No More
She was an outcast a whore in their eyes
She lived a life of misery and her tears she did hide
She wonder the streets looking for love
If only she knew the love from above
But she did not beckon or even dare to cry out to the King
For she knew she was nothing and so unclean
So man after man
Night after night
Her demons led her
She was to weak to fight
Then they found her the ones who called themselves priests
And threw her out like a dog on the streets
She laid there as they snarled rocks and mean words
For the words they said was nothing in her mind she had not heard
And the rocks they may have been meant for pain
But she just closed her eyes and begged the rocks would cause her to die and she cried
But then all of a sudden admits the hate and darkness that encircled her
She heard the most loveliest voice that awakened her
His voice was as sweet as the sun on your face
And as gentle as a babies first embrace
All of sudden the madness ceased
And she lifted her tear drenched eyes and realized she was at Jesus' feet
He spoke stern yet calm words to the men that stood around
And one by one their viscous rocks fell to the ground
Jesus held out his hand and lifted her to her feet
And brushed the dirt off of her as she dried her tears and realized that love had come to be
He whispered that He loved her so true
And this gave her strength to do what he told her to do
She finally found love that she looked for all her life
And then she offered up everything as a living sacrifice
Love found Mary that day on the streets
When she met her Savior whom she followed for she knew this was meant to be
She lived a life of misery and her tears she did hide
She wonder the streets looking for love
If only she knew the love from above
But she did not beckon or even dare to cry out to the King
For she knew she was nothing and so unclean
So man after man
Night after night
Her demons led her
She was to weak to fight
Then they found her the ones who called themselves priests
And threw her out like a dog on the streets
She laid there as they snarled rocks and mean words
For the words they said was nothing in her mind she had not heard
And the rocks they may have been meant for pain
But she just closed her eyes and begged the rocks would cause her to die and she cried
But then all of a sudden admits the hate and darkness that encircled her
She heard the most loveliest voice that awakened her
His voice was as sweet as the sun on your face
And as gentle as a babies first embrace
All of sudden the madness ceased
And she lifted her tear drenched eyes and realized she was at Jesus' feet
He spoke stern yet calm words to the men that stood around
And one by one their viscous rocks fell to the ground
Jesus held out his hand and lifted her to her feet
And brushed the dirt off of her as she dried her tears and realized that love had come to be
He whispered that He loved her so true
And this gave her strength to do what he told her to do
She finally found love that she looked for all her life
And then she offered up everything as a living sacrifice
Love found Mary that day on the streets
When she met her Savior whom she followed for she knew this was meant to be
The Day Love Left Me
The crowd is getting bigger
As my savior is being brought nearer
I can hear the screams of hate
And hear the cries of someone saying " it's to late"
As I stand surrounded by family and friends for support
I can not stop crying as I feel so helpless for there is nothing I can do but watch him hurt
The sun is shinning so hot in the sky
My heart is aching and I can not stop screaming inside why
He has done nothing but help those in need So many like me he set free
So why this brutality
Then I remember what he said to me
"This to has to come to pass u see"
"So that one day you can be in Heaven with me"
"Do not be angry or carry one ounce of hate"
"For they know not what they do they know not their fate"
They are coming up the hill so close
I can see on my savior the crown of thorns
As they pass by me I could not believe my eyes
As I looked at his bloody body I fell to my knees and cried
The rocks were hard against my knees but I didn't care
The dirt was all over me and in my hair
The tears were flowing my heart was breaking
As the hammer made that awful sound
I heard the screams of my loved ones who were all around
I had to manage the strength to stand up and face the crowd
No matter that I too was dying but to be weak was not allowed
I had to stand up and be strong for I promised that I would
As they raised the cross and I saw his beautiful face I knew that I could
I just stared and cried
as I watched my savior slowly die
I couldn't take my eyes off of him
And deep down I knew this was the end
I grabbed ahold of my family and we held each other close
The time is drawing near the time for Him to go
We watched as he cried out and lifted his body up off the cross
When he went back down there was silence and you did not hear a sound
The sun that was shinning so bright
Turned to darkness as if it were night
There was this loud sound from the town behind
And the ground beneath shook and the soldiers ran off to hide
It is finished this we knew
Just has He said
The last night we talked
It was a beautiful night so we went for a walk
The last thing he said to me
Was "be strong and keep your faith my sweet Mary of Bethany"
These words will forever be sketched on my heart and this day will forever be
The day Love left me
MP 11/13
As my savior is being brought nearer
I can hear the screams of hate
And hear the cries of someone saying " it's to late"
As I stand surrounded by family and friends for support
I can not stop crying as I feel so helpless for there is nothing I can do but watch him hurt
The sun is shinning so hot in the sky
My heart is aching and I can not stop screaming inside why
He has done nothing but help those in need So many like me he set free
So why this brutality
Then I remember what he said to me
"This to has to come to pass u see"
"So that one day you can be in Heaven with me"
"Do not be angry or carry one ounce of hate"
"For they know not what they do they know not their fate"
They are coming up the hill so close
I can see on my savior the crown of thorns
As they pass by me I could not believe my eyes
As I looked at his bloody body I fell to my knees and cried
The rocks were hard against my knees but I didn't care
The dirt was all over me and in my hair
The tears were flowing my heart was breaking
As the hammer made that awful sound
I heard the screams of my loved ones who were all around
I had to manage the strength to stand up and face the crowd
No matter that I too was dying but to be weak was not allowed
I had to stand up and be strong for I promised that I would
As they raised the cross and I saw his beautiful face I knew that I could
I just stared and cried
as I watched my savior slowly die
I couldn't take my eyes off of him
And deep down I knew this was the end
I grabbed ahold of my family and we held each other close
The time is drawing near the time for Him to go
We watched as he cried out and lifted his body up off the cross
When he went back down there was silence and you did not hear a sound
The sun that was shinning so bright
Turned to darkness as if it were night
There was this loud sound from the town behind
And the ground beneath shook and the soldiers ran off to hide
It is finished this we knew
Just has He said
The last night we talked
It was a beautiful night so we went for a walk
The last thing he said to me
Was "be strong and keep your faith my sweet Mary of Bethany"
These words will forever be sketched on my heart and this day will forever be
The day Love left me
MP 11/13
Jesus is my Knight in Shinning Armor
For years I imagined this amazing guy coming into my life and rescuing me from the battle of my life I was in and even recently from certain things. He would just appear in my life take control of things and take care of me. Man I use to spend hours imaging him wishing for him. He never came.. But I have come to realize through it all, all the hunger I was feeling for a savior was and is for my Jesus not a man on this earth but my King! He has always been there with me through it all. My flesh just made him out to be of flesh cause I was living in the flesh even recently! He Alone can take control and take care of my family and I! He alone can turn my lonesome times into sweet moments with Him! He alone can fill the spot in my heart for a mate. He alone is my All in All! No man can love me And my girls like Jesus can!! No man alone can protect and provide for my girls and I like Jesus can! No man can place any identity on me cause I am my beloveds and He is mine my only identity is Servant of The Lord most high!!!
Don't Ever let anyone try to make you feel less than what you are!! You Are unique, one of a kind, you are SO very Special and deserve no less treatment than to be treated like the King and Queen that you are!! We are kingdom carriers and when God looks at you he is so full of Love!!Even what you think are flaws Gods thinks is Beauty!!
.JPG)
Jesus is our HOPE
Jesus has you sheltered in His arms of Love! You do not have to have the words to pray for He can read your tears and He is calming all your fears! I know things do not make any sense right now and you feel so alone and not sure where you belong. You are so dearly loved! This to will pass just hold on one more day. God Loves you!! I'm not sure who this is for but I can just tell you I have been there so many times and I am right beside you fighting in this army with you! You are not alone so many are battling depression and hopelessness. But it's not a terminal illness for Jesus is the cure! I battle it myself and to a degree I am right now and all I know to do is hold on and pray cause I know Jesus never meant for His children to walk in Depression and hopelessness. He is our Hope and the only Hope that never fades!
No Matter the Cost
With every heart beat
With every breath
With every trial
With every test
I lay down my life as a living sacrifice
Through the wilderness
Through the storm
Through the pain
When I feel I can not go on
I give to you these ashes
You give to me a crown
In you true Freedom is found
In the darkness
In the the silence
You are my light
My hearts Delight
So take from me this burden I give to you
Break these chains break this pride
In you my Jesus I will Always abide
So I praise your name forever more
No matter the cost
No matter what is lost
For you have awakened these dry bones
You have melted this heart of stone
Jesus have your way in me
Search me and deliver from me that which is unclean
For the battle cry has come to be
Sweet Jesus I give you me
My Sweet Jesus
I will give thanksgiving in your courts
I will give praise to your name
Yes forever I will proclaim
Jesus' name
I will sing glory in the fire
I will say thank you through the pain
For you alone are worthy
No one has a Higher name
You have brought me through the trenches
Have humbled me to my knees
I give my all to you Jesus
And have Faith in the work your doing in me
So bring on the trials
Bring on the long long miles
For I know in whom I believe
My sweet Jesus who rescued me
So Praise the name of Jesus
Praise to my King
You are worthy oh so worthy
I will forever sing Praise to your name
I'm thankful oh so Thankful your bringing these dry bones to life
You have been so patient through my stubbornness and through my strife
You never gave up on this wanderer
You never gave up on me
You are my father
You are my King
Sweet Jesus Thank you for loving me
I will give praise to your name
Yes forever I will proclaim
Jesus' name
I will sing glory in the fire
I will say thank you through the pain
For you alone are worthy
No one has a Higher name
You have brought me through the trenches
Have humbled me to my knees
I give my all to you Jesus
And have Faith in the work your doing in me
So bring on the trials
Bring on the long long miles
For I know in whom I believe
My sweet Jesus who rescued me
So Praise the name of Jesus
Praise to my King
You are worthy oh so worthy
I will forever sing Praise to your name
I'm thankful oh so Thankful your bringing these dry bones to life
You have been so patient through my stubbornness and through my strife
You never gave up on this wanderer
You never gave up on me
You are my father
You are my King
Sweet Jesus Thank you for loving me
Save Me, from Me
Lonely nights and lonely days
I felt life just slipping away
What will ever become of me
Just another statistic is what this world sees
I had to keep running keeping running so fast
For if I slowed down I would have been captured by my past
The pain overtook my soul
And the wounding made my heart so cold
Then there came a night
I was so tired of my life never seeing the light
I was so tired of running and always hiding
So I cried out to the one I thought left me long ago and I cried
" Jesus I am So done with this life I am not living.
I am so tired of this game I am never winning
Oh God can you hear me can you drown out my screams
Can you see past what this world sees
Can you look inside and see the real me
That I lost so long ago
Before the drugs before this show
Please God I need you to help me
Release me from these chains that bind me
Rescue me from this anger that drowns me
Free me the hurt of the wounds from long ago
Oh God please Love me
The real me
The me no one else can see
Please Love Me
Please Save me from me"
This is how I felt 10 years ago this spring
And this is how I felt that night Jesus rescued me
And He did He rescued me with His sweet love
And set me free from the person I was!
I am not a statistic but a Daughter of The King
Who loves me for me
He loves ALL of me
And I no longer have to run from my past
Cause see my Jesus laid my past to rest at last
My slate he made clean with crimson love so pure
Jesus is my healer, for my scars and wounds He alone is my Cure!
This girl is Alive
And no longer cries at night!
God has my hand
He has taught me to stand
I may not know what tomorrow may hold
But I Know and Trust in who holds tomorrow this much I know;)
MP 2/2014
I felt life just slipping away
What will ever become of me
Just another statistic is what this world sees
I had to keep running keeping running so fast
For if I slowed down I would have been captured by my past
The pain overtook my soul
And the wounding made my heart so cold
Then there came a night
I was so tired of my life never seeing the light
I was so tired of running and always hiding
So I cried out to the one I thought left me long ago and I cried
" Jesus I am So done with this life I am not living.
I am so tired of this game I am never winning
Oh God can you hear me can you drown out my screams
Can you see past what this world sees
Can you look inside and see the real me
That I lost so long ago
Before the drugs before this show
Please God I need you to help me
Release me from these chains that bind me
Rescue me from this anger that drowns me
Free me the hurt of the wounds from long ago
Oh God please Love me
The real me
The me no one else can see
Please Love Me
Please Save me from me"
This is how I felt 10 years ago this spring
And this is how I felt that night Jesus rescued me
And He did He rescued me with His sweet love
And set me free from the person I was!
I am not a statistic but a Daughter of The King
Who loves me for me
He loves ALL of me
And I no longer have to run from my past
Cause see my Jesus laid my past to rest at last
My slate he made clean with crimson love so pure
Jesus is my healer, for my scars and wounds He alone is my Cure!
This girl is Alive
And no longer cries at night!
God has my hand
He has taught me to stand
I may not know what tomorrow may hold
But I Know and Trust in who holds tomorrow this much I know;)
MP 2/2014
Real, True, Unconditional LOVE
The love I searched for with man after man I never found. I was looking for someone to love me and see past the mess I had became and see past the different masks I would wear for every different man and see me the real me and love me and rescue me. Of course I never found that. Until Jesus!! He loves me all of me and he has been so patient with me and took His time to reveal His love and His ways to me cause He knew my heart had grown so cold and He knew the only thing I thought I was good for was one night. He gently took each mask off my face and finally got to the Mary He created and kissed my forehead and told me my worth and He told me How Beautiful I am to Him and that He has waited a long time for me to just stop fighting Him and to allow Him to love me! And now I know this love I feel is not for no man but for my Savior whose love is pure and all He wants from me is to be me and to Love Him! I don't have to act or perform in any certain way to earn His love! I just have to allow the Holy Spirit to guide every step and to be obedient and He will do the rest!
Love this picture below! It is so true! We can easily get distracted or even offended by what others think or say about us! But remember we serve a God who has overcame this world! And He wants us to live an abundant life full of Blessings! But if we allow others to dictate who we are in Christ we will Never discover who we really are! Who Christ alone says we are! So turn your back to the courts of people and focus on Jesus! Greatness is ahead my friend
Time is passing so fast, No More Sugar Coating
Worshiping God in public but in private living the life you choose to live that's full of sin and deceit..is like Worshiping God while Holding the hand of the devil!! Very Dangerous place to be!!
You may be able to fool people and maybe a lot of people...but the one you can not fool, the One that Truly matters is God!! He knows your deepest of deepest secrets!! Repent and turn from your evil ways and God will deliver you from your Secret Sins that you Think you are hiding!
K I know that's intense but I had to say it!! So much so fast going on in this world!! We can not sugar coat anything anymore! We can not always just give feel good messages! The time is short and the Harvest is plentiful! So many souls are at hand! Time to get real! Speak the truth even if it is Blunt! And set this world on Fire with Holy Ghost power!!!!!!
You may be able to fool people and maybe a lot of people...but the one you can not fool, the One that Truly matters is God!! He knows your deepest of deepest secrets!! Repent and turn from your evil ways and God will deliver you from your Secret Sins that you Think you are hiding!
K I know that's intense but I had to say it!! So much so fast going on in this world!! We can not sugar coat anything anymore! We can not always just give feel good messages! The time is short and the Harvest is plentiful! So many souls are at hand! Time to get real! Speak the truth even if it is Blunt! And set this world on Fire with Holy Ghost power!!!!!!
Journey Thus Far
I was thinking back on these past ten years since I came Home to Jesus!! What a journey it has been! Full of so many different obstacles. I have learned so much thus far!!
I had to learn to allow God to love me and I had to learn to love myself. I had to forgive so much and forgive myself!
Through the years looking back I remember the times I had fallen from Grace and ran back to the life I knew and thought I deserved. But somewhere along the way I learned I do deserve the good pure life and that I was worthy of it!
No matter how many times I fell I always allowed Jesus to pick me up and once again get on the path of righteousness.
To me though the most important thing I learned is Gods Love!! It took Him so long to melt this heart of stone and bring me to a place where I was ready and capable of receiving his love so sweet!
I know this is only the beginning and I am so excited for what's ahead! Just have to live one day at a time and trust in Gods timing!
I had to learn to allow God to love me and I had to learn to love myself. I had to forgive so much and forgive myself!
Through the years looking back I remember the times I had fallen from Grace and ran back to the life I knew and thought I deserved. But somewhere along the way I learned I do deserve the good pure life and that I was worthy of it!
No matter how many times I fell I always allowed Jesus to pick me up and once again get on the path of righteousness.
To me though the most important thing I learned is Gods Love!! It took Him so long to melt this heart of stone and bring me to a place where I was ready and capable of receiving his love so sweet!
I know this is only the beginning and I am so excited for what's ahead! Just have to live one day at a time and trust in Gods timing!
Be Strong
There is a battle for ever raging! Between Good and Bad, between light and dark! You have to be strong and hang on like your life depends on it to God! Because it really does! One step away no matter how innocent it may seem can lead you into a downward spiral until your life is out of control once more and everything you work so hard to accomplish is gone! So be strong in your faith my friend! Don't give into temptations that only bring you temporary satisfaction but a lifetime of regret and pain! Put your trust in God allow him to fulfill your hunger that at times feels like it will overtake you! He can be and He is enough! You have to ignore the world and the fake happiness! You have to throw yourself at the feet of God! He loves you more than anyone could ever love you! Be Strong! You are NOT alone!
Revival Fire Transition
There is such a strong transitional shift going on among the Mighty and never wavering Warriors of God! This shift is going to awaken what was lost long ago and this will set ablaze the light within that has started to fade! All of this has to come to pass to set in motion a Revival that will start here but spread across the lands. A Revival full of Holy Ghost Fire falling from above that will empower The ones whom have been called to Heal the multitudes, cast out Demons, raise the Dead and a mighty mighty Harvest of souls!! So DO NOT grow weary in Well Doing! The time has come to stand strong, Even if you feel you are standing alone! Just Keep on Standing!!!!
Pharmaceutical Nation
The picture below should be on billboards everywhere letting everyone know this!! They already know the truth it's just good to see it!
Oh but wait... If Pharmaceutical companies start loosing money that means insurance companies do and if insurance companies do then OH NO the government will! And we can't have that now can we?
We can have Americans dying left and right from OD on pills and we can children loosing their parents to pills then harder drugs! It's an epidemic of the greatest proportions! It's a plague that has cursed or country so terribly!
You don't have to find a drug dealer on the streets any longer just find the legal ones aka doctors! Not all doctors I know are like this this but there are those that prey on the weak!
This makes me angry and so hurt for those all around that are suffering from this!
And then people are like "why don't you just quit taking pain pills" to the poor individuals addicted! What people who have never been addicted to pains pills don't understand the base for pain pills, the strongest ones, is opium! Opium is the same base for heroin! Very addictive!! Some drugs your mind only becomes addicted to but with opiate bases drugs your body literally becomes addicted! It will physically be extreme pain and tremors and possible seizures when you try to quit cold turkey or even try to quit with help! That's why some addicts have to take drugs to help them get off drugs!!! So don't ever think the ones that want to quit but are having such a hard time quitting are weak! They are not! They are far from it! They are so strong because they are fighting every cell in their body that is hurting and that feels like they are jumping out of their skin, they are fighting this cause they are strong and want to quit and they will!
So be loving and non judgmental!
Oh but wait... If Pharmaceutical companies start loosing money that means insurance companies do and if insurance companies do then OH NO the government will! And we can't have that now can we?
We can have Americans dying left and right from OD on pills and we can children loosing their parents to pills then harder drugs! It's an epidemic of the greatest proportions! It's a plague that has cursed or country so terribly!
You don't have to find a drug dealer on the streets any longer just find the legal ones aka doctors! Not all doctors I know are like this this but there are those that prey on the weak!
This makes me angry and so hurt for those all around that are suffering from this!
And then people are like "why don't you just quit taking pain pills" to the poor individuals addicted! What people who have never been addicted to pains pills don't understand the base for pain pills, the strongest ones, is opium! Opium is the same base for heroin! Very addictive!! Some drugs your mind only becomes addicted to but with opiate bases drugs your body literally becomes addicted! It will physically be extreme pain and tremors and possible seizures when you try to quit cold turkey or even try to quit with help! That's why some addicts have to take drugs to help them get off drugs!!! So don't ever think the ones that want to quit but are having such a hard time quitting are weak! They are not! They are far from it! They are so strong because they are fighting every cell in their body that is hurting and that feels like they are jumping out of their skin, they are fighting this cause they are strong and want to quit and they will!
So be loving and non judgmental!
Be Free!!
You have a mind of your own and your own feelings and your own emotions! Dont let anyone dictate these for u!! For so long I was a puppet and allowed others to control my every emotion and mind! To the point when someone asked me a question i could not even answer it without being nervous that I may say the wrong thing.
As long as how you feel and what you think aligns with the Word of God you are good!!
Be yourself! Be Free!
Its an AMAZING place to be!!!
As long as how you feel and what you think aligns with the Word of God you are good!!
Be yourself! Be Free!
Its an AMAZING place to be!!!
Letting Go
Letting go of what once was, what never would be, and allowing yourself room to spread your wings is not weakness. It is allowing God to separate you and set you apart for His glory and moving you into a new season of growth and preparation of whats to come!
Its definitely not that you do not love the people you are leaving in their season it is just admitting that you can no longer set on the sidelines watching. Its time for you to step up into the battle and claim your righteous place among the saints!!
Its definitely not that you do not love the people you are leaving in their season it is just admitting that you can no longer set on the sidelines watching. Its time for you to step up into the battle and claim your righteous place among the saints!!
Just Breathe
The fires may be raging all around you and you may feel that at any moment that you may be consumed. Do not fret, do not grow afraid! For even as the fire rages I am the calm among the flames! I am the gentle breeze of courage and hope that blows your way and protects you from that which seeks to destroy you. I am here. You are not alone. I know all and see all. This to shall pass.
-Love God!
-Love God!
No More Being The Victim
You Must NOT always remain in the "victim" mindset, always finding ways in every situation to be the "victim", even when most times you are not! Remaining in the "victim" mindset will keep you from becoming a Warrior for Jesus! How can a victim be a warrior and fight the battle when they feel/think the battle is always being fought against them?
Do not allow what was done to you in your past continue daily to dictate who you are and what you feel! If you feel as though you are the the victim you will attract people who will victimize you over and over because that is what you feel you deserve.
Let go and Let God do the healing. But first you have to admit to yourself that you do have the "victim mindset" and this will take swallowing your pride and admitting that maybe just maybe all those people that you have accused of hurting you and doing you wrong, maybe it was you misreading the situation and judging it from your "victim" mindset and not from the truth.
Truth Hurts... but Love is Truth and Truth is Love!!:)
Just Being Real!
Do not allow what was done to you in your past continue daily to dictate who you are and what you feel! If you feel as though you are the the victim you will attract people who will victimize you over and over because that is what you feel you deserve.
Let go and Let God do the healing. But first you have to admit to yourself that you do have the "victim mindset" and this will take swallowing your pride and admitting that maybe just maybe all those people that you have accused of hurting you and doing you wrong, maybe it was you misreading the situation and judging it from your "victim" mindset and not from the truth.
Truth Hurts... but Love is Truth and Truth is Love!!:)
Just Being Real!
Single Mothers
To all my single mothers out there I personally want to say you are doing an amazing job!! Your strength to carry on when every part of your body is aching from exhaustion is miraculous! Your courage to face obstacles that come to you with such Grace, even at times with tears running down your face is beautiful! Your determination to give your children a good life no matter what you have to sacrifice is Glorious!Seeing the love and respect in your children's eyes when they look at you is breathtaking! You are a wonderful mother! And a Beautiful Woman of God! I know that we don't hear any of this enough doing this mothering on our own and being encouraged is greatly needed! It gives our spirit fire to keep on keeping on because we question so much of our mothering ability at times! God sees this and He is our husband! He is our children's father! And he is our All in All!! So keep on being the Amazing, Brave, Courageous mother that you are!!!
Be Ready
No eye has seen and no mind can comprehend what is about to unfold within the family of God! Some will run and hide in fear for the glory light will reveal what is hiding within. The rest will fall in humble adoration.
What this world sees as impossible, God sees as an opportunity to let His miraculous greatness show not to boast but to bring the proud to their knees and lift the humble up for all to see.
What this world sees as impossible, God sees as an opportunity to let His miraculous greatness show not to boast but to bring the proud to their knees and lift the humble up for all to see.
Daughter of the King
Daughter of the King
For so long I lived a life full of sin
trying to find my identity in godless men
My heart stayed broken
all my dreams kept unspoken
Until the day
That Glorious Day
I was adopted
into the family of God
and given back my dignity
of which I was robbed
I am no longer a women on the streets
but I now lovingly fall at Jesus' feet
I am forgiven
I am not who I use to be
For I now have a father
in whom I place my identity
I AM a daughter of the King
No more wondering
who am I
or living a life full of lies
No more crying myself to sleep at night
wondering why I could never get it right
No, I no longer belong to this world
Of course not because I AM my daddy's little girl
I am adopted
into the family of God
I have been given back all that I was robbed
I am no longer a prisoner of the chains you can not see
I now lovingly fall at Jesus' feet
I do not have to try and fit in to someone else's mold of how I should look or who I should be
No this world can no longer hurt me
and I will not be judged by the standards of this worlds "high society"
For I am more precious than gold
I do have thoughts and dreams and they will be told
You can no longer hold me back from my destiny
All I have to do is be me
because I AM a daughter of the KING!
No more running fighting
hiding crying
I'm breaking free
I am loved
so loved
and that's enough for me
My Jesus is enough for me!
_Mary Priddy 9/09
For so long I lived a life full of sin
trying to find my identity in godless men
My heart stayed broken
all my dreams kept unspoken
Until the day
That Glorious Day
I was adopted
into the family of God
and given back my dignity
of which I was robbed
I am no longer a women on the streets
but I now lovingly fall at Jesus' feet
I am forgiven
I am not who I use to be
For I now have a father
in whom I place my identity
I AM a daughter of the King
No more wondering
who am I
or living a life full of lies
No more crying myself to sleep at night
wondering why I could never get it right
No, I no longer belong to this world
Of course not because I AM my daddy's little girl
I am adopted
into the family of God
I have been given back all that I was robbed
I am no longer a prisoner of the chains you can not see
I now lovingly fall at Jesus' feet
I do not have to try and fit in to someone else's mold of how I should look or who I should be
No this world can no longer hurt me
and I will not be judged by the standards of this worlds "high society"
For I am more precious than gold
I do have thoughts and dreams and they will be told
You can no longer hold me back from my destiny
All I have to do is be me
because I AM a daughter of the KING!
No more running fighting
hiding crying
I'm breaking free
I am loved
so loved
and that's enough for me
My Jesus is enough for me!
_Mary Priddy 9/09
Redeeming Love
You are So deeply loved and adored by the one who gave His All for you! Come out of hiding those who are weary and Jesus will give you rest! The darkness no longer can hold you down for the Glory light is Here engulfing every ounce of your being so that you feel nothing but peace and rest! Just reach out in your weakness and grab ahold of the hand that loves you so and He will hold you through your tears and shower you with love!
Allow His Grace to surround you and His loving Mercy to hold you up until you can once again stand on your own! You are His forever more and He will NEVER let you go! He is giving you beauty for your ashes and joy for your mourning!
Allow His Grace to surround you and His loving Mercy to hold you up until you can once again stand on your own! You are His forever more and He will NEVER let you go! He is giving you beauty for your ashes and joy for your mourning!
Fatherless Generation
This fatherless generation is in desperate need of a holy ghost intervention to humble them to their knees. The fatherless need to know the love of a father instead of searching for it in every avenue that they can. Their identity is placed in the father and so without fathers being in the picture their identity is placed on everything but that which it is. They are longing to belong and searching for that love. The media sure does not help such sexual explicit things on tv that make it ok to have sex, make it ok to experience with drugs. make it ok to rebel.
This generation is crying out for help in the only way they know how and that is acting out for out attention.
Who will respond to this cry? Or will we continue to medicate their cry so that their voices are silent.
Addiction
The word Enslaved stuck out to me in this definition more than anything! Because you become enslaved to the addiction.
You can be addicted to so many different things besides alcohol and drugs: shopping, gambling, sex, food, exercise, etc. Anything that is controlling your life to the point it is all you think of and you can not seem to quit, to me, is addiction!
Just because you are addicted to whatever you are addicted to does not at all make you a bad person and you should Never feel that way! It just means you are going through a trial that you can not seem to grasp being able to stop.
There is ALWAYS HOPE! You are NOT alone! I know for years when I was on drugs I always hid so that no one would see that I was high! I would only hang out with those that could get me high and totally ignored the friends and family that were good influences. I was searching for the next high more than I was actually high. I had NO hope, No goals or plans for the future. Nothing mattered to me but getting high.
I was running constantly from the depression I felt when I was sober. If I could not find any drugs then I would drink until i passed out. I had no drive at all. I remember one time I looked out my trailer window and my momma lived in front of me and she had my baby Faith and they were playing outside and I felt so disconnected from reality but this hurt and so I took some pills and passed out for rest of day.
The pain I was running from and did not want to feel it ever! I felt so Alone, so hopeless.
So see I have been there I know how truly dark it can be! How one day turns into weeks and then months and you are so wrapped up in the game you dont know how to make it stop.
There is a way my precious friend, the only way to true freedom and that is Jesus! Dont block me out yet because I said that. I grew up in church and knew my childhood Jesus and I also knew all the rules that went along with that. All you cant do out numbered what you could do. I get it! I know this!
However, I also know that that is not the same Jesus I know now as an adult! The Jesus who saved me and rescued me from the pits of sin because of HIS love for me! I can say that I did not return that love at first because I couldn't even love myself or this "Jesus" who is full of rules. I was in such a rebellion state I rebelled against HIS love for so long! Until finally it sunk in that I was Rebelling against the LOVE and ACCEPTANCE and PEACE I have been searching for for years!
And then I finally gave in and wanted to know this Jesus whom is real and different than the one I knew as a child. And so I began praying and studying and now I can not imagine my life without Him!!
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
You Are Not Alone
You are NOT Alone!! and you are not the only person who feels and is going through what you are going through!
I wish I had someone tell this to me back in the day when I thought I was literally going crazy with the thoughts going on in my mind. The paranoia alone was paralyzing! I didn't dare tell anyone what was going on in my mind!! I just knew if anyone else knew they would think I was mad as I thought I was becoming.
And you couldn't have paid me to go into a church! I knew the moment I walked in that all these church people would see right through me and know what's going on!
But I was so wrong about all of it! The madness in my mind was not madness but was the rembrance of all the drugs being heightened by the enemy of our soul.
Church was so hard in the beginning. I walked out of service quite a few times to be honest with you! I would sit in service and I felt like my skin was on fire. One lady I was with asked me if I was ok cause she hugged me and said I was burning up hot. But I kept on going and kept on going and it got easier after time. I welcomed the peace I felt in church and the quietness in my mind.
I still struggle with the mind games of the enemy. Not so harsh now but it's still there. The difference is I am stronger spiritually and know the Truth of who I am and who the enemy tries to tell me I am in my mind.
Reach out to someone anyone. You can not do this on your own you need someone to talk to you, to encourage you, to just be there for you!
If you don't have sometime to confide in please contact me! I would l love to listen to you and just be there:)
I wish I had someone tell this to me back in the day when I thought I was literally going crazy with the thoughts going on in my mind. The paranoia alone was paralyzing! I didn't dare tell anyone what was going on in my mind!! I just knew if anyone else knew they would think I was mad as I thought I was becoming.
And you couldn't have paid me to go into a church! I knew the moment I walked in that all these church people would see right through me and know what's going on!
But I was so wrong about all of it! The madness in my mind was not madness but was the rembrance of all the drugs being heightened by the enemy of our soul.
Church was so hard in the beginning. I walked out of service quite a few times to be honest with you! I would sit in service and I felt like my skin was on fire. One lady I was with asked me if I was ok cause she hugged me and said I was burning up hot. But I kept on going and kept on going and it got easier after time. I welcomed the peace I felt in church and the quietness in my mind.
I still struggle with the mind games of the enemy. Not so harsh now but it's still there. The difference is I am stronger spiritually and know the Truth of who I am and who the enemy tries to tell me I am in my mind.
Reach out to someone anyone. You can not do this on your own you need someone to talk to you, to encourage you, to just be there for you!
If you don't have sometime to confide in please contact me! I would l love to listen to you and just be there:)
Love that Saves
No matter how dark your life may seem and you want to end it all. ..God is there to save you from hands of death. . Even if you don't want to be saved. HE will save you because He loves you and He sees the Amazing future you have ahead of you even though all you see is darkness! He will never let you go! Look what all I had done just days before! Drugs, prostituting..And yet God still out of His love and mercy saved me from me and from death! He didn't see the mess and filth but He did see His daughter whom He loved and adores!
Jesus is the Cure
I also know what it is like to have loved ones either family or friends that are in addiction and you feel like at times you are beating your head on a brick wall because they do not seem to listen to anything or care how much pain they are causing to you and family. They can not see how crazy their life has become and they deny deny deny any actual truths that they have a problem. And if they do acknowledge they have a problem they say "you have to die of something might as well enjoy it"..seriously!! If I hear that one more time because it is just words they say to make what they are doing OK in their mind! Or they completely lie to your face over and over if you ask anything or confront them about the issue.
I at times am selfish and do not try to understand and relate, cause I have been there, and so I should be more empathetic to the situation! But in certain circumstances its so hard to be empathetic and not let my anger get the best of me!
Finally a while back I have gotten to the point that I realize they have to want to change! They do! you can no make them or force them to change! Making them go to rehab against their will or they go just to make you happy..WILL NOT solve the problem and they will NOT remain clean!! They may have a honey moon trial when they get home but sadly it will not last!
They have to want to get clean themselves and they have to do it themselves or it will never last!!
So I am right there with so many others that have loved ones whom are addicted! And you feel you are on a merry go round and not sure if they will be happy or if today they will be down.
The only advice I have is just pray. Every day Pray!
Also don't let your emotions get the best of you with them and lose your temper! Try to be loving and understanding. (even though you have some choice words you would like to say that are not nice!! I know) Try to think about how they are too Gods child and he loves them just as much as He loves you!
One thing that got me is remembering how miserable I was when I was in the depths of addiction! I would not listen to anyone and no one could tell me anything! I knew it all and every word out of my mouth was a lie! God showed me all this to try and soften my heart and to know He never gave up on me, so I can not and will NEVER give up on them! No matter how much they hurt me, they are hurting ten times worse within themselves!
Just even in the darkest times, even when you feel you can not go on, do not give up on the one that you love whom is battling and yes suffering not by choice with this addiction! They need your unconditional love to see them through!
This may sound crazy but trying to force someone to quit their addiction will drive them further away from you and deeper into the addiction, however, loving them through their addiction with unconditional love, no matter how bad it hurts, loving them through it all is the ONLY thing that will make them want to quit.
Because Love, real unconditional and non judgmental LOVE is of JESUS. And He alone is their cure!!
I at times am selfish and do not try to understand and relate, cause I have been there, and so I should be more empathetic to the situation! But in certain circumstances its so hard to be empathetic and not let my anger get the best of me!
Finally a while back I have gotten to the point that I realize they have to want to change! They do! you can no make them or force them to change! Making them go to rehab against their will or they go just to make you happy..WILL NOT solve the problem and they will NOT remain clean!! They may have a honey moon trial when they get home but sadly it will not last!
They have to want to get clean themselves and they have to do it themselves or it will never last!!
So I am right there with so many others that have loved ones whom are addicted! And you feel you are on a merry go round and not sure if they will be happy or if today they will be down.
The only advice I have is just pray. Every day Pray!
Also don't let your emotions get the best of you with them and lose your temper! Try to be loving and understanding. (even though you have some choice words you would like to say that are not nice!! I know) Try to think about how they are too Gods child and he loves them just as much as He loves you!
One thing that got me is remembering how miserable I was when I was in the depths of addiction! I would not listen to anyone and no one could tell me anything! I knew it all and every word out of my mouth was a lie! God showed me all this to try and soften my heart and to know He never gave up on me, so I can not and will NEVER give up on them! No matter how much they hurt me, they are hurting ten times worse within themselves!
Just even in the darkest times, even when you feel you can not go on, do not give up on the one that you love whom is battling and yes suffering not by choice with this addiction! They need your unconditional love to see them through!
This may sound crazy but trying to force someone to quit their addiction will drive them further away from you and deeper into the addiction, however, loving them through their addiction with unconditional love, no matter how bad it hurts, loving them through it all is the ONLY thing that will make them want to quit.
Because Love, real unconditional and non judgmental LOVE is of JESUS. And He alone is their cure!!
Just Believe
Always Always know that tomorrow is another day and the pain you are feeling right this moment will end and will not always be! The darkness that seems to engulf you at times is not stronger than that which resides with in you! The light of Love within is so much stronger than the darkness!
You have to believe in the unseen and trust in the unknown and then your TRUE EVERLASTING peace and freedom will begin to unfold!
Just Believe!
You Have a Voice
No matter how small you think your voice is, or how you think you have nothing to say..You do!! Do not be silent anymore!! Share your story with everyone and anyone who will listen! It does not matter if your story is 2 mins or 2 hours! What you have to say is vital to someones life out there who is just looking for an ounce of Hope! and what you have to say is that ounce!! Be Brave! Be courageous! Be loud! Be Proud! Be LOVE!!!
Child of Mine
Dear Child of Mine,
If you could only see the beauty that I see
If you could only feel this love that I feel
If you could only hear the beautiful song within
My child come to me
The blood I shed on the cross was for you
The tears of blood that I cried in the garden was for you
The stripes I received and the crown of thorns
all for you
My child come to me
Let me break the chains that bind you
Give to me your worries and your fears
Cast at my feet your heavy load
I'll take it from you because I love you
My child come to me
You are my love, my child
I'll be your friend
Whatever you need I will be
All you have to do is let me in
All the sins of yesterday are gone
You are forgiven
Now you just have to forgive yourself
Just come to me
All the times you cried out in fear
I was always there but you would keep
me at a distance never letting me near
If you only knew how much you mean to me
My heart breaks when your heart breaks
I shed a tear when you shed a tear
You are my beloved
I am here right here, right now, right beside you
Just come to me child
I delight in your happiness
I want to give to you the desires of your heart
All you have to do is ask
I am not a God to forsake you
or to turn my back on you
Quite the opposite-- I run to you
Come to me Child, my precious child
If you only knew the marvelous plans I have for you
You would not let the current circumstances bring you down
You are my chosen vessel, my bride
Even though you lived a life of sin
I was there with you even then
I saw all that was done to you
and I shed a tear the night you almost took your life
I was in the hospital room but I said "No this one is mine"
and breathed back into you the breath of life.
Im here Child, just come to me
I have protected you all these years for
you have great works to do for my kingdom
The work within you has begun
and soon you will reap a great harvest for me
Just hold on my precious one and let me complete
the work within you that I have started
It will not be easy my child as I cleanse
your most inner being
so that I can completely fill you with my spirit and knowledge
Just come to me
But the outcome, oh the beautiful outcome
when it is no longer you people see
but it is me looking through your eyes
what a glorious day
You know my voice for I talk to you all the days
Hold tightly to my hand and listen to my voice
and I promise to continue to
protect and guide your every step just
keep your faith in me, my blessed one
I will keep you hidden from the harm and evil for days to come
Just come to me, abide in me, trust in me.
for I am your and you are mine!
I give to you my strength
from your daddy with love!
Love,
God
MP
My Testimony
I just wanted to share my testimony with you. Below is article that was in
Shattered Magazine:
“A Way Out – Mary’s Story”
Shared by Mary Priddy
Written by Emily Rogers
"Love conquers all," Mary says looking towards me as she squints to keep the sun out of her eyes. She smiled, shrugged, and continued, "That's it. Love conquers all." Mary Priddy's journey is an emotional story that shows the power of Christ in every way. Her countless times escaping what seemed to be inevitable death, swirl around her mind as faint yet still vivid memories - coming and going, from clarity to confusion. Speaking with her as she unloads years of struggle and pain - you'd never know those dark years exist. She sits, smiles, and calmly breathes. She shares graphic details and startling memories with a rhythmic pace and warm hum to her voice, a peace that can only be found in Christ. As she prepares to move into her first apartment with her two daughters, she can typically be found working at the local hospital, hanging out at the house where she and her family currently reside, or attending her home church. She is a woman of endless joy who has faced extreme sorrow and yearns to make her story known. "Even if this just helps one person. That's enough. That's worth it." Mary explains. Eagerness in her tone, humility in her spirit - it's time to share Mary's story....
- - - The early part of Mary's life was rich with family and love. Growing up attending church with her brothers and grandparents, Mary learned how to be a disciplined Christ follower at a young age. She was very close to her grandparents. Her grandfather, who was a preacher, exhibited genuine care and concern for his family and church body. Her grandparents served an important role in Mary's life. They showed her a faithful marriage, the constant acceptance of a loving Father, and the honoring routine of diligent believers. Mary re-calls singing hymns on the way to church in the car with her grandparents. They'd sing together on the way to church and sing together on the way home. Sometimes just out of habit - sometimes out of praise. Those hymns, the same ones she sang with her family on that simple country road, she'd one day be singing alone. Drugged, violated, and abandoned, Mary would sing the same hymns to comfort herself years later on an urban street as she looked for the night's work... At the age of 12, Mary's life took an unexpected turn. As an unruly cry for help and attention after the devastating death of her grandfather, Mary took to self-harm to manipulatively extract herself from her home environment. Her family had not coped with the death of her grandfather easily and every comfort she knew was falling to pieces around her. She wanted out. So she decided she'd do just that - get out. After an intentionally superficial cut to her forearm and a call to 911, Mary was placed in the state public care system of Tennessee.
First, she was sent to a psychiatric hospital to be evaluated for potential danger and various health issues. Mary recalls being in the hospital, isolated from the world, wondering what her life would look like one day. On one occasion, her grandmother came to visit her. Hoping to see the lively granddaughter she once knew, her grandmother visited a shell of the Mary she desired to bring home. Drooling and dazed, Mary and her grandmother "visited" for several hours. While there, one of the doctors flippantly stated that Mary would be institutionalized forever. "I'll never forget that." Mary sighed, "They had decided I'd never be normal." She was diagnosed, re-diagnosed, and ultimately misdiagnosed for years. Schizophrenic episodes, anorexia, borderline personality disorder, obsessive behavior, depression...the list goes on. Label after label was placed on Mary. Her constant medication kept her in a state of oblivion as she waited to be released from the facility. After some bouts of better behavior and taking strides towards a healthier lifestyle, Mary was released into the foster program.
Once cleared from the psychiatric hospital, she spent multiple years in and out of homes - grasping and living for a quickly fading hope of what life was "supposed" to be. Mary claimed she caught on very quickly how to begin working the system and continued to move from home to home. From the ages of 12-15, Mary lived in 34 different care facilities, foster homes, and group living environments. She witnessed parents who tried to love her the way she'd desired, she saw caretakers who simply wanted the check from the state, and she experienced families who did nothing more than shelter and feed her. Rejected, Mary was seeking acceptance and love. One night, Mary and her friend ran away from a treatment center they were assigned to. Her friend, who Mary recalls "knew what she was up to" pulled Mary into a mature situation with two older boys. With her friend just around the corner, voluntarily engaging in the same act - Mary, who was then a virgin, was raped at the age of 15 in an abandoned storage shed. The years that followed this night never managed to get any better.
While Mary was reconnected somewhat with family after her grandmother came to pick her up from the hotel she’d escaped to, she started to hang out with a rough group of teenagers. These teens accepted her for her - or so she thought. What started as seemingly innocent partying, dancing, and drinking, rapidly turned into experimenting with drugs and promiscuity. Mary's brother was unexpectedly killed in a car crash after a night of drinking. And after an inability to cope in a healthy way, Mary's world continued crumbling. Long nights with multiple men using her for her body, being pimped out for money by a man she believed actually cared for her, and throwing herself recklessly into the numbness of ecstasy...She began escorting and working in sex spas to make the money necessary to buy drugs. Cocaine, crystal meth, and ecstasy filled Mary's body and veins, threatening her life with each use. Her mind was full of voices telling her lies, ridiculing, and laughing at her. The drugs opened a door to evil that Mary wished she'd never known. A constant heckling in her mind kept her searching for drugs to silence the voices. Deep into her dependency Mary remembers feeling trapped. She knew the drugs were the lord of her life, she knew she was hurting those who loved her, but she could not stop in her own will. She had given in to the addiction and lived only for the next high. Life was slipping away from Mary and with each hit, she succumbed further and further into the darkness that surrounded her. Mary was drugged, alone, and stoically longing for death. A way out. Whatever it might be.
Then, suddenly, when desiring death - life was gifted to Mary in the form of her first daughter, Faith. Once Mary found out she was pregnant, she miraculously kicked the drugs and lifestyle she inhabited. Relying on her faith in God that He had a greater plan for her, she fled from the addiction that controlled her and began taking care of her body as she carried this child. Awakened by the innocence that comes with the birth of a baby, Mary had her daughter and stayed clean for about nine months after Faith was born. With no support system and a dwindling dependence on Christ, Mary was not strong enough to resist the acquaintances from her past. The voices began to speak again - unworthiness, hate, and depression. After just one night of going out partying, Mary was back where she left off. After this slip, Faith spent most of her days in the care of Mary's mother while Mary kept on, spiraling out of control. At a pivotal moment in her life - after several stays in jail, multiple visits to the hospital, numerous attempts at suicide, and too many vague nights with paying customers trailing her conscious - Mary woke up on the floor of a crack house. She remembers that morning, lying there, surrounded by piles of filthy, chemically saturated, and inebriated bodies. Fellow drug seekers sleeping off the drugs. She had been in this situation before - used up, searching, hungry, tired, and dirty. But this time, it was different. This time she awoke almost involuntarily begging and crying out to God. She was begging for a way out. She remembers praying "God - show me the way out and I'll take it. I am ready."
That morning, she went to the local homeless shelter for food. It was Good Friday and she was searching for the way out she’d begged for. She lingered around the shelter for a few days until that Sunday, Easter Sunday. Considering the Christian holiday, a bus was scheduled to take the people of the shelter to church. It wasn't mandatory that they go, but Mary figured, "Why not?" Oddly enough, the bus didn't come that day. She decided that she'd stay, but realized she probably wasn't going to be visiting a church that morning. Continuing her talk with God that started days ago on the floor of the home several blocks away, Mary waited for Him to show her the way she had begged for. As she paced the grounds of the shelter, the personnel working there called another church, who they knew had buses, to come get those interested in going. The buses came and Mary hopped on. That morning, at a welcoming and accepting church, Mary re-dedicated her heart, life, and soul to Jesus Christ. "That was it for me. I knew it. I was home," Mary says with the tiniest of tears filling up her vibrant eyes. She recalls being prayed over by several of the pastors at the church as one of the sweetest and most terrifying experiences of her life. As the prayers began, the laughter and hateful voices that had filled her mind for decades began to build. Loudly laughing, bellowing up from deep within, the laughter increased - Mary gripped hands of believers, bent her head down, and prayed silently as the pastors battled and pleaded with God on her behalf. Then finally, for the first time ever - the voices that had plagued Mary - fell completely silent. Forever. Still, quiet, peace filled Mary and she knew it was over. "He chased me down and HE won," she exclaims. - - -
It hasn’t been all “happily-ever-after” from here...does God ever promise us that? No, but he does promise us that HE is with us forever after. After this experience, Mary has had small triumphs as she began to mend the broken pieces of her life. She picked up a job, returned to a family that still wanted what was best for her, began mothering her daughter well, and even completed schooling to become a Medical Assistant. Her grandmother and mother happily and helpfully welcome her back into their lives and have supported her with each healing step she’s taken to grow and change. They’ve assisted her in transitioning to become the primary provider for her children. With each victory, Mary was pushing further and further back at the struggle and strife she was once help captive by. Mary even attended a mission trip. Who knew? A former prostitute on a mission trip to bring glory to the one, true God! Now that is redemption.
There have been many pitfalls along Mary’s path, and plenty of lingering poor choices, but each time, the Lord has been gracious to her and kept her close. With the birth of a beautiful daughter Grace about a year and half ago, Mary experienced what she feels is another chance – a chance to love on her girls and be the mom she knows she can be. She has shared with Faith about her drug addiction, teaches her about the Lord, and loves her daughters endlessly. Full of matchless hope as she witnesses God's redemptive work in her own life, Mary says "You learn to have thick skin, but a tender heart. I've been made tough by what I've gone through. But my heart is softened by our great God." - - - Mary's story is unbelievable. Really. In this world - science, facts, the news, tabloids, and history tells us the way these stories end. Addiction wins, redemption is not possible, and that once you go so far - you can never come back. However, Christ’s story for our lives is different. Just as He rescued Mary, He can and will rescue us. A crazy concoction of sin and helplessness leads to a victorious display of His greatness and love. God came down to this earth in the form of a baby just to redeem, restore, and LOVE his creation.
God chased Mary down and met her. He is restoring her, redeeming her, and loving her each day. When asked what she wanted people to walk away from her story with, Mary passionately replied, "You are never too messed up. It's never too late. God is always there for you and He always will be," she paused and looked around, searching for the perfect words to say. Resolving her search, she smiled and said, "You just have to ask Him for a way out."
Be Blessed!!
Be Blessed!!
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